Saturday, February 17, 2007

Harry Hill's TV Burp

I'm rather ashamed to say that I thoroughly enjoy Harry Hill's TV burp, but I do. It's certainly as good as Charlie Brooker's TV Burp, over on highbrow BBC4 (or do I mean Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe? - can't be sure). Hill is occasionally very funny - for the last few weeks he's been picking on the TV show Weird Creatures, presented by Nick Baker - wherein the protagonist goes looking for rare animals... and never finds them. What's the point, Hill asks? This week Baker was looking for a basking shark. Here's a bit of dialogue from his analysis:

Hill: But hang on, he's found one! Hasn't he?
Footage plays of Baker spotting something in the sea.
Baker: "We've hardly left Penzance harbour and we already have what has to be the second weirdest fish in the world after the basking shark. It is the sunfish".
Hill (disappointed): Oh, no, it's the sunfish. What about over there?
Cut back to the footage
Baker "Well, that's our consolation prize - we have a grey seal".
Hill: A seal? I thought we were looking for a shark?
Back to the footage.
Baker: "The otters more than make up for our limited success with the shark".
Hill: No they don't! I tuned in to see a four and a half metre shark. It's a shark programme. If you'd have told me it was a seal and otter programme I wouldn't have bothered!
Cut back to Baker pointing out specific breeds of gulls, circling over the sea.
Hill: Seagulls!? You're just filming anything now!
Cut back to a bit of Baker's film - he's filming another boat and there is a dog aboard.
Hill (incredulously): That's a dog!
Now Baker's film shows him swimming in the water. He points at the coast.
Baker: "That's Cornwall".
Hill (outraged): That's not even an animal!!!

Maybe that doesn't work unless you saw it, but it was very funny - certainly now that David Attenborough has filmed everything beautifully in one series or other, TV nature shows these days all seem to be about filming the unfilmable and the obscure - jaguar hunting in South America or whatever. Never mind that - just show us some cute monkeys. Don't bother with the sharks, though, we've given up on them.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Rock Goes To College: AC/DC

Wow, that's what BBC4 is for - half hour long AC/DC concerts from 1977. Have to admit to loving every second of this, I'm afraid.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Cooking In The Danger Zone: Arctic

Stefan Gates' food programmes have - somewhat surprisingly - been my hit of the year so far. A host of fascinating destinations and alarming foodstuffs have so far been explored, from Chernoybl to Uganda and Afghanistan to Korea. Tonight Stefan was in Northern Canada exploring foodstuffs in the Arctic circle. I've long been fascinated with Inuit culture, from architecture to food, so I was delighted with this. Most unusual in terms of gastronomy was the Igunak; rotten walrus - eaten raw after being buried in ice for a year. Good lord.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The Brits

I just watched the Brits live on TV. You can follow my evening here, should you wish to.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Life On Mars

The brilliance of Life On Mars - and it is brilliant - is the simplicity of the story line. Despite a tricksy, fascinating first series, the tagline actually tells you everything you need to know, meaning that every episode, while part of a wider story arc, is brilliantly self-contained. "My name is Sam Tyler. I had an accident, and I woke up in 1973. Am I mad, in a coma, or back in time? Whatever's happened, it's like I've landed on a different planet. Now, maybe if I can work out the reason, I can get home."

Actually, scratch that, the brilliance of Life On Mars is that Philip Glenister's character, Gene Hunt, is the best TV character ever.

Monday, February 5, 2007

Louis Theroux On Gambling

Louis Theroux has been away and now he's back, and oh, look, he's still as charming as ever, and gently teasing his subjects into opening up. His new show is as downbeat as ever, hardly revelatory, but it's message is clear - people like gambling a lot, but they always lose. The government, meanwhile, thinks casinos are the answer to their economic problems. Sigh.

Saturday, February 3, 2007

At Five In The Afternoon


Just watched At Five In The Afternoon and cried all the way through it - a bit unfocused, but really moving all the same.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Lipstick Jihad

Lipstick Jihad: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America and American in Iran by Azadeh Moaveni is a lively biography from someone of an unusually tender age for this type of thing. But Moaveni is a wise 24 and her story is a colourful one - so it's well worth a read.

Monday, January 29, 2007

The Armstrongs

Compiled from the reality TV show episodes, The Armstrongs: The Movie is obviously very funny, but I didn't expect to find it as sad as I did. Perhaps because I was feeling ill when I watched it, I remember it as very queasy viewing. Wikipedia has collected up some marvellous quotes from it, though.

"We could get rid of Sally and make the others think 'shit'. It’ll be like taking dynamite to a naked flame festival."

"Fame is a funny old business. It can open doors for you. Me and Ann went for a meal recently and Ann got extra mash and I got an egg. I thought 'I like this'."

"We're trying to make paper airplanes out of concrete."

"You're really smart, you're like the man from Burtons. I'm like the man from ... not Burtons."

"What was was, and now what is is, and is tomorrow a new day? Yes it is."

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

The Sims 2

Never mind high culture, I got stuck on a long train journey yesterday and I'd finished my book - so I downloaded The Sims 2 onto my mobile phone. I've never played the proper game, and obviously this was just a very simplistic java game for phones, but it was great fun for about an hour. Mildly addictive for another half hour after that. And boring after that. But better than reading 'The Metro' or something.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Lebanon, Lebanon

Ranting from Pinter aside ("boom, boom, boom boom... boom boom boom") Lebanon, Lebanon is a lovely collection, although it suffers from a little raw sentiments towards Israel in places.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Sweet Sixteen

Very impressed with the new BBC3 documentary series Sweet Sixteen so far. Tonight's was brilliant and yet rather sad - a documentary about a sixteen year old Turkish boy in London who was very clever but going off the rails; it showed his school and his sisters trying to steer him through his GCSEs, but having to combat the fact that he was absolutely obsessed with - not girls or gangs or drugs - with being famous.

He said he already thought of himself as a celebrity, and was bunking school to attend X-Factor auditions, appointments with modelling agencies. It quickly became apparent that he was neither talented nor anything approaching good looking enough to be a model. Neither of his parents engaged with him and spent most of their time in Turkey. Eventually he tracked his dad down (he thought he was working in a shop in Archway but it turned out he was in Istanbul) and convinced him to pay for him to have a (completely unnecessary) nose job.

He missed three weeks of school as a consequence and nearly missed his exams (although luckily he was intuitively bright enough to pass them in the end); then went back to all the agencies and drama schools that rejected him, confident that they'd say yes this time. Of course, none of them did. Awful.

Another really sad thing was that he was so obsessed with his career and used it as an excuse to keep saying "my mum and dad want me to get married but I've so much to do first that I'm not marrying 'til I'm 40". Couldn't help wondering if so much of his attraction to the world of drama was influenced by the fact that he seemed quite obviously to be gay, but of course in his traditional family couldn't probably even consider facing up to it.

It ended with one of those painful, defensive rants we're becoming so familiar with: "I will be famous, and everyone will be sorry - I'm totally unique, there's no-one like me, my name should be the first and last thing everyone says every day" etc... agh.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Six Feet Under

Six Feet Under is an odd one; I've been watching it a lot, as More4 is showing one a night, and my initial apathy has progressed through wild enthusiasm to furrow-browed ennui. Perhaps its the effect of watching an episode a night, but it's a show which seems to age rapidly.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Pamela Hansford Johnson

Pamela Hansford Johnson is one of my very favourite authors, but I've picked up 'The Holiday Friend' on several occasions without it sticking. I don't suppose it will now either, as I picked it up this morning as a diversion from weightier stuff. Still, PHJ is a wonderful writer.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

The Trial of Tony Blair

The last film by the makers of last night's 'The Trial of Tony Blair' was last year's Blunkett satire, 'A Very Social Secretary', and given that that piece was a bit of a disappointment - a kind of blunt, heavy Adrian Mole - I wasn't expecting too much of the new film, although that instinct was tempered somewhat by the knowledge that by far the best aspect of that film was Robert Lindsay's unexpectedly brilliant portrayal of the Prime Minister. Last night Lindsay took on the lead role and the film was, rather surprisingly, rather brilliant.

Obviously any film that features Tony Blair being extradited to the Hague on charges of war crimes is pretty close to the ultimate left-wing fantasy, but the film was not merely a document of wish-fulfillment, but also a tightly scripted and brilliantly performed drama, which eschewed - a couple of predictable jokes at Cherie Booth aside - heavy satire in favour of a light comedic touch which saw Lindsay's Blair comically refusing to acknowledge his sins. Set in 2010, with a stubborn Blair finally handing over to a vindictive Brown (whose involvement in the plot admittedly stretches the boundaries of plausibility) and converting to Catholicism, the film's really about the denial of responsibility, although Lindsay, no fan of Blair, gives a sympathetic account of the PM's faults. The answer the film really wants to know, of course, is one we may never find out - whether Blair is haunted by guilt and by the images of the countless dead. In 'The Trial Of Tony Blair', he is. In real life, who knows?

Monday, January 15, 2007

Coming to America

I watched the first episode of Life On Mars again tonight - it's being repeated on BBC4. God, what a brilliant programme; well scripted and beautifully acted, but the real feat is the idea - we've got used to the idea of concept drama recently, but this is the first time that ... oh fuck it, alright, tonight I derived the most pleasure from watching Eddie Murphy in Coming to America on ITV2. There, I said it.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Jane Eyre

A slow day, and one during which I chose to do nothing much more than sit through four hours of period drama - the BBC's recent version of Jane Eyre, which was predictably wonderful; a tremendous, tremelous Jane and a Rochester whose every emotion is violently visible - cracking stuff.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Friday, January 12, 2007

Laura Barton

More lovely writing from Laura Barton in the Guardian today:

"By the age of 16, I knew it took precisely four seconds to hop from my bed to the tape player. I knew just how long it took to rewind the Pixies' Hey. And I would make this little journey, back and forth, back and forth, the way a sparrow collects twigs, as if I were building a nest up there on my eiderdown".

Brilliant as ever.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The Devil and Daniel Johnston


"Though the whole world be blown apart
No matter how dumb or how smart
Still beats beneath the rocky rumble
The dead lover's twisted heart"

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

The Odessa Files

The Odessa Files
You can't beat Nazis as bad guys in films. The Odessa Files is something I half-watched and enjoyed a year or two ago, so it was good to watch it again properly - its the kind of long, taut thriller that seems to be a speciality of 1970s cinema - it sags a little towards the end but it's still thoroughly enjoyable sick bed viewing, which is what I did with my day today.

Monday, January 8, 2007

The Baby Borrowers

The Baby Borrowers, BBC4

Sunday, January 7, 2007

The Good, The Bad and The Queen

The BBC finally got round to showing the The Good, The Bad and The Queen concert which myself, Andrew, Anne-Sophie and Jeanne attended in the autumn, and it was nice to watch it back and marvel over what a lovely new set of songs Damon has written (delicate folky hymns to london with maurauding dub basslines, ace) as well as try to ignore the fact that he had a hissy fit half-way through. Still, what a brilliant band - excited about the album in a couple of weeks.

"Birdsong in the night
The sound drags a net through the twilight
Emptiness in computors bothers me
These are the seas in our minds
We make our own confine in time"

Saturday, January 6, 2007

Klaxons

The Klaxons - Golden Skans
Really enjoying this one, having been unconvinced by their previous singles; kind of a big, swooshing, soaring Spacemen 3 / Baby D car crash (scripted by JG Ballard) type thing. Yes, it is as pretentious as that. Ace tune though.

Friday, January 5, 2007

Ugly Betty

Ugly Betty

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

The Thick Of It

The Thick of It is unrivalled - the best and most accurate political programme on TV in living memory.

I loved the exchange between the beleaguered and rather old fashioned one nation tory and his savile-row suited spin doctor:

Stewart Pearson: Just wondering whether you're fully conversant with the new line, whether you're really up to speed?
Peter Manion: I don't know. Am I? Because I get people stopping me in the street and asking "are you still for locking up yobbos", and I say, "yeah, of course we are", and then I think, 'or are we?', because maybe I missed a memo from you. Maybe I should understand yobbos now. Or not even call them yobbos. Call them 'young men with issues around stabbing'.
(pause while PM gestures towards his shirt)
PM: No tie, you say?
SP: No tie.
PM: Quite a nice suit actually.
SP: So we were thinking... shirt outside the trousers.
PM: Outside? Not tuck my shirt in? I always tuck my shirt in. It's part of getting dressed.

Genius.

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

This Life +10

This Life +10 was a funny programme, in the end - not a very good idea in the first place, for one thing; these one-off reunion shows, in my experience, rarely work. If you are seeking to advance storylines and tie up ten year old threads, particularly on a show where a lot happened, then attempting to do so in a little over an hour is a thankless task. If Amy Jenkins and the five actors at the centre of her show were serious about providing a resolution to the two hugely successful This Life series in the mid 1990s, they should have done more than one show, and in doing so could - just as they did initially - illustrate their conflicting actions and emotions in something approaching detail. Instead, last night's show had the feel of a heavily edited omnibus, or - at worst - a thinly sketched out and poorly scripted attempt at a Poliokoff drama.

For all that, Jenkins created a set of enduring characters (although why one of the best, Ferdy, was excluded wasn't really clear) and there were moments in the show - the interplay between Egg and Miles, Anna's rant at the dinner table - that conjured up sparks reminiscent of the old magic. Yet the characters, as befitting such a grand finale, have all become ludicrous caricatures. Egg is a super-successful novelist, and Milly a 'supermum'. Warren - presumably by virtue of his being 'the sensitive one' - is a self-help junkie. Anna is a hardnosed lawyer who specialises in getting hardened criminals acquitted and Miles is a kind of tousle-haired playboy, and a member of the landed gentry, to boot. What's more, he and Anna still have the same old fizz and - guess what - this time she's broody.

Strands of believability snake through an absurd plot. Egg has published one well-received novel but he's already having a high-profile documentary made about him, which conveniently (sorry, absurdly) means that all the characters get to do idiotic reality show style 'video diaries'. This is really stupid. And yet Egg's first novel was just a slightly fictionalised version of his flatmate's lives, and he can't write another. Shades of Amy Jenkins' writing career aside, I kind of bought this; Egg tended to be watching more than acting in the first iteration of This Life, and it's from experiences such as his that hit novels are no doubt borne.

And while Miles is still a buffoon, albeit one who has now lost any edge or believability (even, sadly, as a stooge for Anna, who is still well played by Daniella Nardini), his character gives Warren his one believable characteristic. For although Warren, one short scene in a cafe with Milly aside, is almost unrecognisable, it's through Miles that we occasionally glimpse him. Jenkins gives us just one direct example of his mental distress, but it's a shrewd one, for he is still tortured by the fact that, despite the closeness of the housemates in the orginal show, Miles never welcomed him into the group. Again, believable. Andrew Lincoln, meanwhile, through Egg, provides the occasional nostalgic lightness of touch - his brief asides, usually expressing frustration or bewilderment, are a regular treat.

Elsewhere, however, so much is wrong. It's natural given the power of Anna's character, that Jenkins should wish to return to the issue of career women and whether it's possible to have it all, but why she has to then crowd Anna and Milly into such opposing stereotypes is quite unclear. Equally, in the intervening years - not least thanks to 'The Office' - a decent scriptwriter should have learned a lot about the confusions of love and the premise of the happy ending. But there's nothing endearing about Anna or Miles' scenes together, and that's a travesty after the emotional power of their relationship ten years ago. When Miles, loopily, goes bankrupt and leaves for Timbuktu at the end of the show (I know), there's no chance of a dramatic or emotional ending, and nor does the viewer desire one. Instead, the show ends with Miles shouting 'Love you all' at his friends. Amazing and hilarious, and not in a good way. As for Anna's desperation for a baby, it's all just carried out in such a clumsy fashion - although it does prompt the worst line of the show (and there are a few zingers): "I've chosen Warren as the co-parent".

The little tics, meanwhile, are as annoying as the absurdities of the plot. In one scene Egg and Milly's son swallows a coin. They're frantic with worry. Seconds later he's forgotten and doesn't appear for the remaining twenty minutes. What happened? Did he die? Elsewhere, Egg and Miles embark on a furious argument when the former discovers the latter voted Tory at the last election. Am I the only one who just assumed that all of the characters in the initial This Life were natural tories? OK, maybe not Egg, and Anna might have escaped that burden by virtue of being a Scot, but Jenkins, looking for significance in her original series, is exaggerating things if she felt it presaged and heralded the arrival of New Labour. It was about a bunch of rich lawyers, for god's sake.

And then a few moments which crack and fizzle, a few scenes which remind us why This Life was such a great show. And then you ask, "was it such a great show?". Probably not, but it was loud and brash and rude and funny and, at the time, pretty unique. Amy Jenkins manages to stir up moments of nostalgia, but ultimately adds little to the pot. Never mind - it was nice, despite the flaws, to have it back for the evening. I don't suppose in ten years time there'll be any clamour for a This Life +20, however.

Monday, January 1, 2007

Expedition Borneo

Expedition Borneo

Sunday, October 29, 2006

hot puppies

The whole of The Hot Puppies debut album, 'Under The Crooked Moon', is really great - arty, literate pop with nods to Blondie, Pulp and PJ Harvey - but the best song on the record, 'The Girl Who Was Too Beautiful', is just majestic, both musically and - particularly - lyrically. So I'll take a little time to admire the lyrics and the theme of the song, because I think it's quite special - a kind of short story of a song. It begins:

"Dear Mariella, I am 25.
I live alone.
I think I might have found love,
But I just don't know.
There's something wrong".


I'm a big fan of Mariella Frostrup and her no-nonsense relationship advice column in the Observer, so the first time I heard this song that's the bit that jumped out. That's pretty neat, I thought, a love song in the shape of a letter to an agony aunt.

The next few lines somehow somehow slipped by unnoticed for a while, but then I noticed them:

"Cause he has another love,
and she's been buried a year.

And there might be a passing resemblence,
but dear Mariella, how can I compare with the girl, with the girl, with the girl, with the girl
who was too beautiful?"


And all of a sudden the song is in a much darker place altogether. The protagonist, expertly voiced by the marvellous Bec Newman, is preocuppied with her partner's dead lover, and begins, despite the warnings of those close to her, to assume her predecessor's persona.

"And all my friends say that it's not right,
but I don't care, I'm gonna change my hair.
Cause he wants her.
And I just want somebody there."

The next verse raises the drama. The bit where Newman sings "Dear Mariellia / It's gone from bad to worse / It feels like I'm chasing a hearse / And now I'm even wearing her clothes / I feel like a ghost" is plain shocking. Worse still is to come.

"And just the other day, staring from across the street,
I think I might have seen her mother, but dear Mariella,
She didn't see me. Just a girl.
Just a girl, just a girl, just a girl who was too beautiful".


By the song's end, the by now wretched sounding Newman is almost totally subsumed, asking and threatening "would you wanna let go, like I wanna let go, and I need to let go?" and concluding, finally, "I am the girl who was too beautiful". It's a deliciously Hitchcockian theme, simultaneously dark, knowing and sexy, and brilliantly performed. The tune itself positively sizzles, bursting with tremendous melodies, keyboard riffs and it even briefly swoops into an indie-disco breakdown without breaking its stride.

Odd how so much press time has been expended on the (admittedly great) Long Blondes while the Hot Puppies are bubbling under - it was great to see Kate Jackson up near the top of the NME's supremely daft Cool List this year, but surely Bec Newman deserved a place too. Hopefully they'll be massive in 2007 - they deserve to be. Doubtless half of the blogs in my sidebar and starting to put together their yearly round-up lists, and I probably will soon too. And this is a serious contender for best single of the year.